An old man goes to a pharmacy to buy some Viagra. He says to the pharmacist, "can you cut it up in quarters?"
"Sure, I can cut it up for you", says the pharmacist, "but it'll only give you a quarter erection" .
"Listen hear bud", says the old man, "I'm 96 and I definitely don't want an erection. All I want, is that this little critter stick's out far enough so that I don't piss on my fucking slippers, ok?!!", .
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