DECODING DICTIONARY

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish............................49.
Adventurous..................Slept with everyone.
Athletic..........................No breasts.
Average looking............Moooo.
Beautiful........................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.......On medication.
Feminist........................Fat.
Free Spirit....................Junkie.
Friendship first.............Former sl*t.
New-Age......................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned..............No B.J.'s.
Open-minded...............Desperate.
Outgoing......................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional.................b*tch.
Voluptuous......... ........Very fat.
Large frame.................Hugely fat.
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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes...................................No.
No....................................Yes.
Maybe..............................No
We need..........................I want.
We need to talk...............You're in trouble.
Sure, go ahead...............You better not.
Do what you want...........You will pay for this later.
I am not upset...................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight.....Is sex all you ever think about?
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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry.....................I am hungry.
I am sleepy......................I am sleepy.
I am tired.........................I am tired.
Nice dress.......................Nice cleavage!
I love you........................Let's have sex now.
I am bored.......................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?..........I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?.......I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to a movie?.....I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to dinner?.......I'd like to have sex with you.
Those shoes do not go with that outfit.............I'm gay